`pinguino

i vomit rainbows

+Watch Send a Note Give

A Curious Fellow

by ~Firestorm-the-Poet

Critique by `pinguino Jan 4, 2010, 8:28:42 PM

I love the rhythem in this poem. I think everyone can identify with being woken up by annoying birds at 4a. The crow photos are cute, too.

My favorite line is "The crow is a curious fellow." It seems to fit the animal very well.

Mourn should probably be Morn though? Or is it a sad morning, as well? Also the 2nd line feels a bit awkward when you say it aloud. Try a comma after sigh, too, since a pause makes sense after the word.

Hope the critique is okay - I don't write them very often.

Great poem! Keep them up!

The Artist thought this was FAIR

13 out of 13 deviants thought this was fair.

2 Replies

Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Comments

~Firestorm-the-Poet Jan 4, 2010 Hobbyist Writer

Whoa, I did not expect a critique so fast.

Thank you, glad you liked this.

And thank you for catching my error, yes its suppose to Morn not Mourn. *smacks self in forehead* This is why I tell people not to rely totally on Spell Check, perhaps I should take my own advice.